He told her she was beautiful and she swallowed hard against the palm of his hand. He was lying. She knew that he was lying.
“It’s true,” he said.
Tears clung to her eyelashes. She kept her eyes shut tight so they couldn’t escape. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, so painful and raw on the inside. He was supposed to be her escape. Panic clawed at her chest. This isn’t what she signed up for, this isn’t what she wanted.
“I have to go,” she said.
“You aren’t going anywhere,” he replied.
He lifted his hand and squeezed the leather restraint around her right wrist to remind her why. She flinched.
“Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head. Only on the inside, she thought. She prayed that he wouldn’t use words like that again. She didn’t come to him for lies.
“Talk to me,” he said. “If you truly want to leave, you know what to say.”
She knew her safe word. He’d made her choose one and tell him what it was while they were emailing. But this, this was different.
“Open your eyes. You can’t hide from me. You aren’t sitting behind your monitor anymore.”
She looked at him. He was older than her by maybe ten years, a man who had lived not the easiest of lives. His eyes were hard, but concerned. It was the concern that she didn’t want. She’d been honest with him, told him that this wouldn’t be easy for her, but she’d wanted to try. She didn’t know that the hardest part would be his scrutiny. Suddenly, he grabbed her ankles and tugged her down on the bed, stretching her arms tighter above her head. The imbalance struck her then, her nudity and his fully clothed body. Her scars and stretch marks; her imperfections on display. At least his were hidden.
He reached up and caressed the side of her breast with his hand before pinching her nipple. She cried out from the sharp pain. This. This is what she wanted. He did the same with the other before reaching over to the side table and retrieving a pair of nipple clamps linked by a chain. Her eyes widened.
“This is all new for you. We’ll take it slow. This is just our first time. I just want you to have a little taste.”
“The most important part is that you communicate to me. Do as I say, yes, but tell me if you don’t like something. I want you to feel safe.”
She nodded again.
A sharp slap cracked across her thigh.
“Use your words.”
He clipped the first clamp onto her hard nipple and she whimpered. He did the same to the second. Her breasts were full and fell to the sides, pulling against the chain. The ache went straight to her core and she pulled against the restraints as though she were testing them. He laughed softly and tugged on the chain.
“Oh, no. We’re just starting.”
He ran his fingers down her body and pushed her thighs apart. All she could think was how fleshy they were, how soft her stomach was. How she couldn’t be what he wanted. Why was he here?
Another slap on her thigh, this one harder.
“You’re in your head again. Let’s get you out of it.”
He bent her knees and pushed her legs high and wide.
From the table, he pulled a vibrator and a bottle of lube. She closed her eyes as the lid snicked open. His fingers parted her and the cold liquid dribbled over her hot flesh. She heard the telling buzz as the toy came to life. She kept her eyes closed, flinching as he softly moved the vibrator over her outer lips. She gasped, hips lifting of their own accord.
“Keep your legs spread for me.”
She nodded. “Yes… yes, sir…” she stammered, finding the words a little more difficult to form.
“Open your eyes. Stay here with me.”
He tugged on the chain, sensation shooting through her nipples as her eyes flew open. He was over her, still fully dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt. His cotton sleeve rubbed against her inner thigh as he teased her, getting closer to her more private flesh. She panted, short heavy breaths betraying her arousal as he slipped the vibrator between her lips, skimming over her swollen clit. She cried out, her hips shooting off the bed, feet firmly planted on the mattress.
“No, no, keep your feet up and your thighs open.”
She moaned, but did as he told her. her moved the vibrator back and forth over her clit, then dropped it lower, sliding it deep inside. He smiled as she jerked her wrists against the restraints again, reaching up and tugging on the chain.
“Oh, God…” she moaned.
“Sometimes,” he said,” I won’t let you speak. I’ll make you stay completely quiet. I’ll find ways to hurt you more, because that’s what I like to do. But today, today I just want to get to know you.”
The vibrator moved back over her clit, faster. She watched him switch the power higher, the intensity of the vibration driving her wild. She moaned and writhed beneath him, coming apart, not understanding exactly why she felt so safe. Why this worked for her.
He tugged on the clips again and she cried out.
“So close… I’m so close…”
He pulled them off and the pain made her scream, just as he shoved two fingers inside her.
“Now,” he said. “Come now.”
He couldn’t have stopped her. The vibrator hard against her clit. His fingers fucking her. The ache in her breasts. The leather tight around her wrists. And him. Just him. Her orgasm tore through her, unleashing something primal and untouched. The sounds she made were raw, unlike anything she’d ever heard. Her tears couldn’t be held back this time.
She heard the toy drop as he undid the restraints and soothed the skin at her wrists. She didn’t hide as she wept, something unlocking inside of her, finding a freedom she’d never expected. He pulled her against him, soothing her and letting her cry.
“You’re beautiful,” he said.
She closed her eyes with a sigh, hearing no lies in his voice.
“Thank you,” she replied, knowing their first time together wouldn’t be the last.